Monday, May 5, 2008

I CAN'T FIGHT ANYMORE!

If you read my last blog about FIGHTING THE FIGHT... and you have fought and battled and done the warfare needed... and now you cry out...

"GOD ... I AM TIRED! I CAN'T FIGHT ANYMORE!"

Can I get a witness?!!?

Two years ago Steve was in Ethiopia for 3 weeks teaching at the seminary. While he was there, all "you know what" broke loose!

  • The health of our family (immediate and extended) began falling apart...

  • Our mailbox and a fancy flower pot (YES... it was FEBRUARY... and YES I STILL had a fancy flower pot by my house... it looked nice even without FLOWERS!!!)... they were smashed in right after he left... NOT A GOOD THING for a big CHICKEN like me who barricades every door and window when the MAN is away...

  • I was battling another stomach "attack"...

  • I had a flat tire in the middle of a snow storm on the way to Mt. Pleasant...

  • Had to replace all of my tires when I got there ... ( thanks to the hubby of one of my CLOSEST, ROCKIN', BFF's...Peggy... John took care of the tires... filled the gas tank... washed the car... and made sure I was safe to drive home)...

  • THEN my wisdom teeth abscessed...

  • Had to have them surgically removed...

  • Reacted to the Vicodin ...

  • Had to drink a bottle of Benedryl... then had no pain meds... can you say... OUCH???

  • Then part of my world came crashing in when my sweet, precious Mom had to have a lung biopsy and was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis... no cause, no cure, in man's eyes... no hope. (see bottom of post for an update).
All of this in a matter of 2.5 weeks.

I was emailing Steve in Africa... talked to him a couple of times... crying on the phone...hearing the delayed echoes of my voice through the international connection... "YOU NEED TO COME HOME!!!! ... you need to come home!!! ... EVERYTHING IS FALLING APART!!! ... everything is falling apart!!!! ... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! ... I can't take it anymore!...

He asked his students to pray for our family. One of our Ethiopian brothers said the LORD gave him this word for us ...

Exodus 14:13-15
"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

I immediately posted this verse on my mirror.

THEN, (yes you thought that was all)... Steve called me from Amsterdam on his way home and told me he had been MUGGED on the train... ( more about THAT in another post).

Two weeks later when I was in the hospital for three days with the most severe 'attack' I had ever had... after they run test after test with no diagnosis... I had no fight left. I am sure my body had just reacted to all of the stress I had gone through...or should I say...put myself through by not allowing the LORD TO FIGHT FOR ME. Lying there in the hospital bed... I had to pray that scripture over and over...

The LORD made this verse so real to me. I had to just give it all to HIM.

When we feel like we just can't fight anymore...


Do whatever you have the strength for... pray... cry... meditate on the WORD... put on worship music....Lay your fight.... or your lack of strength to do that... at HIS feet... let HIM pick it up... rest for a while... allow HIM to refresh you... regain your spunk... to be strong for you.

Be encouraged... HE IS FIGHTING FOR YOU TODAY!


( BY THE WAY...
my MOM has defied Doctors' Prognosis. They said "we can only hope to slow it down... you will never get better." Well... with every test... she IMPROVES by 6%! She is baffling her doubting doctor. Standing in faith. Quoting scripture. Believing in GOD'S creative power for healing. PRAISE THE LORD! HE IS FIGHTING FOR MY MOM!)

6 comments:

Crystal said...

This post is so encouraging to me! We have had thing after thing after thing...I'm tired. Thanks for your encouraging words during the midst.

Beloved MaMa said...

This is such an awesome message!!! There were days over the past 3
5 years that my husband would wake up to Bible verses all over our home... I also had "attacks" and later found out that they were stress/anxiety related...I had never had these before so I thought that they were purely physical. BUT THE enemy has been defeated!!! Praise God, I loved reading this today :o)

Deb Seenarine Wilson said...

Today.....I have been saying: YOUR GRACE IS ENOUGH!!
I have been praying for you!

Faith Hope Love Mama said...

Stumbled on your blog today after reading a prayer request from Beloved Mama. Your post today was awesome!! My dad has been fighting a battle since I was little and sometimes I just want to pick up and walk away. You reminded me today that his battle is with an unseen enemy and I need to continue to pray! Thank you for this blessing.

Darlene said...

How appropriate! I have been thinking a lot about suffering this past week and how God uses it for our good.

Romans 5:3 says "...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, " How wonderful to know that there is a hope that does not disappoint.

And then triumphantly 1Peter 5: 10 says " And the God of all grace, ... after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."

And to that I say "AMEN--so be it!"

Thanks Mary Beth for suffering a little while so the rest of us may benefit from your testimony of God's grace as he molds and shapes you into the Godly woman that you are.

Love, Darlene

Michelle Sutton said...

This blessed my husband and I so much. My husband walked away from the family business on Monday after 46 years and is looking for the next step. It is hard and scary but there is a freedom now that we have never experienced. Thank God that He is fighting for us now!!