For the Domestically Challenged...

Hi! My name is Mary Beth and I am domestically challenged.

I have come to realize that the reason I and so many others feel a major inferiority complex when it comes to this issue, is due to intimidation of the Proverbs 31 woman.

By the way ... I have a name for the Proverbs 31 woman... MADGE... because I believe she was a figment of the author's iMAGination.

The one little thing that gets over looked in this passage and that we all should remember is in this verse:

v15: She provides food for her family and portions for her SERVANT GIRLS!

GIRLS... she had SERVANTS!

Doesn't that bring a whole new understanding to this passage!

WE TOO could go shopping for fields, flax, and wool, etc...
... spinning said fabrics to make linen clothing and bed comforters ...
... plant a vineyard in purchased acreage...
... take care of the needy (in addition to our husband & offspring)...
... play with our kids all day
... AND be oozing with wisdom from ALL THE TIME we'd have to study the WORD & pray... yes... we'd be super spiritual! (pronounced in the southern, evangelistic way... speer-chul.)

ALL because of our blessed servant girls.

Who WOULDN'T be able to to laugh at the days to come knowing someone ELSE is doing your dishes, cleaning your toilet, and scrubbing your floors!

So.. BE SET FREE Girlfriends... cut yourself some slack and enjoy who GOD created YOU to be... quit comparing yourself to Madge...or anyone else... thinking I can NEVER measure up to her... UNLESS you have servants... then I'd better see me some flax spinning going on!

NOW... if I only had me some servant girls... or Molly Maids... Molly Maids would do...


READ THIS ARTICLE from Today's Christian Woman about the Domestically Challenged. It came today as I was getting ready to write this blog. How fun is that!

WHAT'S COOKIN'?

Does the following ever happen to anyone else?

I decide I am going to go outside of my gifts and abilities and fix a good meal for my husband.
The Man in your life sits down to the labor intensive meal.
I am so proud that I actually COOKED a DECENT meal.
I place the food on the table...and I can see the look in his eyes...
HE HAD THE SAME THING FOR LUNCH!

If I fix...spaghetti with homemade sauce ... barbecue chicken ... mexican ... burgers and homemade fries, (let's see...what else do I know how to fix????) ...or something "out of the ordinary" for me ...like Parmesan Chicken ... or Hawaiian Chicken ... HE HAD IT FOR LUNCH!

Periodically, when I think of it, I will call him BEFORE I delve into the cookbook to find out what he had over the noon hour to avert any repeat delicacies.

The other day I did this very thing.

ME: "Hey Babe...just wondering what you had for lunch?"

HIM: "A granola bar."

ME: "OH MAN ... that's what I was gonna fix for dinner!"

He laughed. I laughed. A bonding time for us.

For wonderful recipes to help you with this dilemma... visit my friend, NETTA'S blog. SHE ROCKS with inspiration in the kitchen.

Christmas Tree Tip

For all you special ones out there who are SO blessed to have a PRE-LIT tree that comes in only two pieces... Go on with your bad self. Just DON'T tell me about how EASY you have it or I'll be on you like a crow on roadkill. You can just SKIP this blog.

This is for those of you, LIKE ME, who STILL have an archaic fake Christmas tree... and must insert EVERY, SINGLE, STINKIN' branch into the 'tree trunk'... doing that ONLY after you shape EVERY limb and needle into the proper place.

Then... AFTER 3 days of putting the 7.5 foot tall... 5 foot in circumference... fake pine up... THEN... oh... THEN comes the fun part...

PUTTING ON THE LIGHTS... can I get a witness!

I have had this tree for 17 Christmas seasons. After about 7 years of watching me put lights on EVERY BRANCH... weaving them in and out, reaching my hands back deep into the tree... getting cuts and scrapes... back and forth, from trunk to edge ( that is for the depth perception look) ... 1000's of lights... my wonderful hubby who has such a practical mind said to me...

"Sweet thang... Why don't you put the lights on when you put on each layer of branches! Bottom row of branches... lights. Next row... lights... yada yada.. That way you just LAY THEM ON TOP and don't have to reach in and out."

BRILLIANT! Why didn't you think of this years ago.

I have shared this little tip with some friends... AFTER I have let them struggle for a few years so they could truly appreciate the full impact of this idea... and feel my pain.

NOW... some of you have your own practically brilliant... I mean practical and brilliant minds who have done this from day one! Whoppee for you.

ME... not so brilliant.

SO... there you have it. Bottom row... lights... next row... lights... third layer... more lights...

NOTE FROM LIGHT MANUFACTURER: Wash hands thoroughly after handling as coating on the power cord of this product may cause cancer, birth defects or other reproductive harm.

(This is really on box. honest. Of course, you pre-lit people don't NEED to read this little warning, now do ya?)

FYI...Just so ya'll know... my hunka hunka burning love hubby has offered to purchase a new tree for me... but old habits die hard... AND I can think of other things I would like buy with that cash.

My LAST blog about Salsa!!!! PROMISE!

THE FOLLOWING IS AN ODE TO LINDA... THE SALSA QUEEN...

When we pastored in Mt. Pleasant, our dear friend, LINDA POHL, would give us some of her homemade salsa every year for Christmas. OF COURSE, with my husband's strong love and desire for HOT THINGS, 12 jars didn't last very long. So he asked if I could learn how to can Salsa and make her awesome RECIPE. (did he REALLY understand what he was asking????)

SO LINDA so PATIENTLY and graciously walked me, the Domestically, Culinarily Challenged, through the process.

I learned ...When I make salsa for my hubby...I have to make it SOOOO HOT... my lips and tongue burn and my lips swell up... He can just pour it down. ... I use 30-35 jalapenos and pablanos per double recipe for him. I use 3-4 for normal people!

I believe he is made of iron from his tongue thru his entire digestive system.

Last summer, at the end of August Steve was gone for about 10 days, so Brianna and I decided to go and spend time with my mom and dad. I figured it was a GREAT time to make my Salsa...especially because Mom had such a great kitchen to work in.

There were a couple of GREAT things about that decision.

#1: My grandma's niece had a garden full of tomatoes...so we went and picked tomatoes, some jalapenos, and green peppers...plus Farmer's Market treasures. Linda taught me "grow your own or know someone who does!!"

#2: Mom, Grandma (MO), my Aunt Darlene and Brianna all helped me...And they are all VERY GIFTED in the kitchen... that offsets my "not very gifted in the kitchen" self.

#3. The Vidalia Chop Wizard - (blogged about it last week)
(This is the one thing I taught LINDA! She bought one last year and loves it!!)

LINDA TAUGHT ME that when you take the jars out of the water after their water bath...and set them on the counter... and you hear the lids start popping.... you say "PRAISE THE LORD"...because every time you hear that wonderful little noise, you KNOW it is sealed properly.

Believe me... popping lids are surely something to Praise GOD for... I have had to redo many jars because of one little speck of stuff on the lip of the jar. I can tell you from much experience, a pop-less jar is quite a depressing silence .

SOOOO...last year I said "praise the LORD" 99 TIMES! (I would have said it 100 times but my salsa making comrades and I ate a jar full when it was warm...right after cooking. It was SOOOO yummy. SO this year I made Steve's mom and dad 40 jars with veges from their little - 1.5 acre - garden.)

A "LINDA'S SALSA CHALLENGE" for the week...

When something goes right... say "Praise the LORD" in thanks and appreciation.

And when things aren't going your way... and you have to redo what you've worked so hard on... decide to Praise the LORD in faith for the great things that are going to happen and THANK HIM for the lessons learned in the prior attempt(s).

SO...that is enough of the domestic diva in me for today. If you come to my house for dinner...GUESS WHAT YOU ARE HAVING?????

Salsa Recipe

So... thanks to the mass 3 of you who emailed for this recipe! :-D

I take no claim to fame at being a domestic diva...except I DO make yummy salsa, thanks to Linda!

LINDA’S SALSA

* 4 C. finely chopped tomatoes

* 1 C. finely chopped onion

* 1 green Bell pepper finely chopped (around 1 cup)

(USE VIDALIA CHOP WIZARD - see below)



Place chopped veges in a LARGE saucepan.

Combine the following ingredients in food processor or blender.

* 4 – 8 Fresh Jalapenos
( ok… I use 35… count ‘em… 35 for Steve’s Salsa. It is fire hot! You just
have to taste it and go by trial and error for your likes. If you like mild start
with 2 -4.)

* 4 cloves of Garlic

* 1 sm. Can Tomato Paste

* ½ C sugar

* 1 C. White vinegar

* ¼ t. Alum

* ½ t. Cumin

* ½ t. pepper

* 1 TB. Salt

Process until smooth.

Combine with chopped veges in large sauce pan.

Bring to a boil and reduce heat.

Simmer for 45 minutes.

Pour into HOT sterilized jars. ( pint jars) leaving ½ inch head space.

Seal. And process in boiling water bath for 15 minutes.

Makes appx. 3 pints.

IT IS GREAT FRESH AS WELL!

HINTS:

**You can double recipe. One time I tripled it but it easily scorched.

**Jalapeno hints… I do not deseed them because it takes away the HEAT

IF You deseed them wear gloves. I have had two friends rub their faces while deseeding and their faces get red and on fire. If this happens,my allergist says bathe face and hands in milk. It really works.

** If you have never canned before, be sure to use new seal lids and read the directions.

BIGGEST TIME SAVING TIP OF ALL
I found the 2nd Best Time Saver EVER! (what is the 1st? my female family members!)

The VIDALIA CHOP WIZARD.

I saw it in Real Simple listed as a great product. It chops the vegetables so quickly and perfectly. No watery onions or peppers. And even the ripe tomatoes chopped into little perfect squares without being mushed!

It usually takes me a day or more JUST to chop all my vegetables. We did all the onions and peppers in 45 MINUTES!!!!!!

NOW... my mom, father- in- love, sister-in-love, aunt...all have one. Whoever tries it loves it. You can get it at Walgreens, CVS for $20... or with a $5 coupon at Bed, Bath, and Beyond... it's just $15. Cheaper than a good food processor.

Let me know how it goes when you make it!

Windex Testimonials

My new Bloggy sister over at Elizabeth Embracing Life left me this comment:

"I tried this [ Windex, the Best Carpet Cleaner Ever ] over the weekend and it worked wonders. I had vomit from over a year ago right outside my sons bedroom door. I had tried many different remedies without any success. The stains are GONE!!

I also had tea on my staircase that refused to go away, and you guessed it, gone too. Along with various spots here and there. Oh and purple paint spots that have looked like blueberry spots since last summer.

Can you tell I am really excited about this!!

Oh and the day I was spot cleaning I spilled salsa on my white bright shirt...yep it whipped crystal white in seconds...need I go on sister?!!!"

My friend Sandie asked if it would take away AGE SPOTS! I am leaving that experiment up to her! I will report if she looks younger... or just cleaner and more sparkling!

Sandie also left this recipe for a mixture if you’re out of windex: Equal parts of ammonia, vinegar and water.

She continues: "I believe that’s what Windex is made of anyway and costs less. I had one of the kids spill grape juice all over a light colored couch just before company was coming and was able to get grape juice stains out with that! Didn't know it worked for carpet and clothing, too!"

Please feel free to leave me any of your cleaning tips. I need all the help I can get!

Happy Spring Cleaning!

Best Carpet Cleaner, EVER!!!

I had some spots on my carpet thanks to the "contractor from the hot, fiery place".

I remembered some advice from our friend ROB who had worked at Home Depot. In his Carpet Training, they told them to use WINDEX to remove spots. He said he and Betsy use it, and it works great.

I thought, WOW... did the Home Depot guys discover that watching MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING?

So... I got out the trusty, blue WINDEX.. and WALLAH! SPOTS WERE GONE!

One day, in my ever so graceful ways, I dropped a pint... hear me, PINT... size container of this soy sauce based glaze from China King. It created a HUGGGGEEEEE spot on my relatively NEW carpet... about the size of a... well... I don't know... it was everywhere!

While chuckling at my poise and elegance, my hubby, with his loving and encouraging man confidence, said, "Honey, You will never get that out of the carpet."

Not to be deterred... I pulled out the Windex...(I like the Windex with Vinegar...but you can use ANY kind... even off brands.) and started spraying and blotting, spraying and blotting...

...as much as my impatience would allow... then periodically throughout the next couple of days... repeated the process.

Within a few days, there we NO TRACES left of that Soy Sauce Glaze! GONE! POOF! To be seen NO MORE!

I was so excited that it worked... even MORE elated to be able to say those words I rarely get to say to hubby (because 95% of the time he IS right...) "SEE.. .I was RIGHT! I did get it out of the carpet."

So, in the words of Gus Portokalos and Rob King: "PUT SOME WINDEX ON IT!"

Whatever Your Hand Finds to Do...

Well, this last week has been a week of readjusting ...from reveling in being crowned the "Vacation Queen" ...soaking in the rejuvenating sun and warmth of Florida...

...only to be catapulted back into the reality of my glamorous life as
"The Lysol Queen of the Porcelain Throne."
I just have to keep reminding myself of the scripture in Ecclesiastes 9:10:
"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might..."

Do I look spiritual????

OR...do I resemble the next part of the verse.... "for in the grave, where you are going..." I wonder if that is where the expression "work yourself into an early grave" comes from????

I am now in spiritual quandary...

Should I continue putting my hand to the "plunger"...or put on my swim suit and relax on the couch where the afternoon sunshine penetrates through my large picture window...and pretend I am in some warm, tropical corner of God's creation!?

WWJD?